Being Refined in an Unrefined Society
Filed under: Children's Needs, Education, Family Home Evenings, Family Outings, Gospel Centered Marriages, Home Management, Parenting Skills, Personal Development, Problem Solving Skills, Prophets' Words
It seems nearly every day there is something else astonishing in the news–most of it bad or repugnant. Short of hiding our heads in the sand or hibernating in a cave until the Second Coming, we will be faced with crass or even overtly sick material in the media from time to time. What is a parent to do? How do we prepare our children for that which they will most likely see, if not already seen?
News articles in the last month have talked about teen girls texting nude photos of themselves to unsuspecting guys in their high school or middle school classes–all in the hopes the boy will want to ask them out on a date. What is a parent to do? How do we prepare our sons for these kinds of matters?
Other researchers have now said that nearly half of high school students know fellow students with porn on their cell phones. What is a parent to do? How can we help prepare our children for the onslaught of evil that now is engulfing this planet?
Talk to any social psychologist who has studied longitudinally the effects of pornography. They will speak to the chemical changes it induces in the brain. They will speak to the numbing effect it has on “right and wrong.” Pornography is not harmless “entertainment,” much as the purveyors of this “entertainment” will put forth (remember, they profit from those addicted to the stuff).
Again, what is a parent to do for their children, especially those who are young and not aware of what lurks out there in the world? I think Brigham Young’s counsel is pertinent for our children today (Brigham Young was one of the early presidents for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the official title for the Mormon church). He said:
“Learn…and be prepared for the most refined society upon the face of the earth, then improve upon this until we are prepared and permitted to enter the society of the blessed–the holy angels that dwell in the presence of God” (Journal of Discourses 16:77).
It’s a funny thing about magnetic attraction. Heard the saying, “Like attracts like”? Building a refined family will help shape refined children. Refined children will be more likely to be drawn toward refined literature, activities, and endeavors. They will be more likely to shun that which is crass, vulgar, or rude.
How do we build refinement in our children? Again, Brigham Young gave this counsel:
“Our education should be such as to improve our minds and fit us for increased usefulness; to make us of greater service to the human family, to enable us to stop our rude methods of living, speaking, and thinking” (The Prophets Have Spoken, Vol 1, p 626).
Brigham Young wasn’t just speaking about grade school and high school years when he spoke of education; he was speaking of our lifelong journey on this earth.
As parents we can set the example of refined living and education (that which we learn from) by what we choose to watch, what we choose to wear, what we choose to read, and so on. The more refined we are, the more likely our children will follow suit. And the better equipped they will be to handle the vulgarities of the world!
Home – The Central Place
Filed under: Children's Needs, Gospel Centered Marriages, Parenting Skills, Problem Solving Skills
This title, “Home – The Central Place,” caught my eye. I was reading in an instructional booklet put out by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (casually called the Mormons). The booklet was called “Improving Gospel Teaching: A Leader’s Guide.” Published in 1998, it contains much information under these various headings:
- Gospel Teaching in the Church,
- Leader Support of Teachers,
- Teacher Improvement Meetings,
- and the “Teaching the Gospel” Course.
But it was while I was reading in this booklet that I saw the sub-title, “Home: The Central Place.” Actually, the full title was/is “Home: The Central Place for Learning and Teaching the Gospel.” The entire title caught my attention, because I realized with great strength how true that saying is.
Imagine a child that goes to church and hears that Jesus taught we should love one another, yet the child returns home and is hit by his parents. Imagine a child that goes to church and hears that we should be honest, yet goes home and sees his parent keeping too much change the store clerk unknowingly gave. Imagine that same child hearing God’s truth that the Sabbath day is holy, yet sees his parents hosting a raucous party on Sunday for the Super Bowl.
Yet on the reverse, imagine that same child (instead) hearing during Sunday services about loving one another and returning home to hear his mother say, “Son, you matter to me,” accompanied by a big hug. Picture that child hearing in Sunday services the value of honesty and the next day, he sees his father returning the overage in change a store clerk unknowingly gave. And just imagine a child returning home after a Sunday School lesson on the 10 Commandments with the importance of Sabbath day observance, and his parents actually spend time with the family that evening studying the word of God.
In reviewing these scenarios, I realized yet again just how important a statement the title was: “Home – The Central Place for Learning and Teaching the Gospel.” In fact, here is a quote from that very section:
The family is ordained of God. It is central to His plan. He has established families to bring happiness to His children, to help them learn the gospel in a loving atmosphere, and to prepare them for eternal life. The home is the most important place to teach, learn, and apply gospel principles (see Mosiah 4:14-15; D&C 68:25-28).
Parents should thoughtfully plan and hold family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, and other family activities. They should do all they can to make good use of these teaching opportunities (”Gospel Teaching in the Church,” Improving Gospel Teaching, p 1).
While reading this quote, I of course had to face my own parenting skills, approaches, and moments. It is imperative that I make sure I provide the proper atmosphere and environment for my children in their gospel understanding and growth.
As President Spencer W. Kimball said, “Home is where we become experts and scholars in gospel righteousness” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [1982], 129). May we seek these kinds of things for our own families!
For more information on building the family and finding joy therein, feel free to visit the Church’s Provident Living website where you will find help to strengthen your marriage, to strengthen your family, and even information of support groups for those seeking to overcome addictions.
Strong Enough to Last Through Life & Into the Eternities
As Mormons, we believe in strengthening the family. And as members of the Mormon church (officially known as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), we receive great help from the Church in that desire.
One of the ways the church helps us strengthen our families is through the auxiliary organizations of the church. These auxiliaries consist of the Primary (children ages 18 months to 12 years), the Young Men (ages 12 to 18 years), and Young Women (ages 12 to 18 years).
The focus of these auxiliaries is to help each youth in the church. The leaders in these organizations focus on encouraging and supporting the kids in the families of the church. Besides the regular church services, these organizations support kids through activities that involve the youth with other kids their ages and through service projects for people both inside and outside of the church.
Each organization has adults who mentor the youth leaders. They include activities such as the Boy Scouts of America. The youth are taught to follow a set of standards that are well-delineated in a booklet called, “For the Strength of Youth.”
It is important to note that no leader in any organization of the Church, including the Prophet himself, has any authority in the home of a family other than the Father and Mother. These organizations are simply called to be there as a support to the family and to support the roles of the parents in the family. All of this is an effort to help the parents lead their families back to God.
A leader in the First Presidency of the Church, President Henry B. Eyring shared more of the vision of these organizations and the importance of their service in his talk “Rise to Your Call.” He gave this council:
“You are called to represent the Savior. Your voice to testify becomes the same as His voice, your hands to lift the same as His hands. His work is to bless His Father’s spirit children with the opportunity to choose eternal life. So, your calling is to bless lives. That will be true even in the most ordinary tasks you are assigned and in moments when you might be doing something not apparently connected to your call. Just the way you smile or the way you offer to help someone….”
The doctrine of the Mormon church is to help its members learn of Christ. The purpose of the Mormon church also exists to support the family and to help it be able to be bonded together and strong enough to last through this life and into the eternities. Feel free to visit this link if you would like to strengthen your family.